Super Who? Saves the day
by Jesness
Summary: What does Mario do when he can't save Peach? Send Luigi, What does Luigi do when he gets into big trouble? Read to find out Ch: 4
1. Peach's plea

(Ok, ok, I know my first chapter really sucked. My narrator was really nervous, this being only my second Fic and all, and the story suffered a little. _Ok a lot_! But being the good-natured person I am...I helped the narrator get over that case of stage fright. We had a heart too heart; I gave some great advice and the narrators' just fine now.)

What the hell are you talking about? You told me that if I didn't shape up you'd rip my arm off and beat me with the bloody en...**: **Jesputs a hand over narrator's mouth **:**...mego ma mouph...

(Heh, heh, heh, ahh, such a kidder this one. But in all seriousness, we burned the midnight oil and fixed the first chapter. So enjoy "Super who? Saves the day" chapter one revised-**_Jes :D_**)

Disclaimer: I do not own the _Ebola Virus_...Yet. **_: } _**

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Good natured person my as... Heeey! Let's get on with the story shall we?

It was your normal, usual, day in the Mushroom Kingdom. Not one thing was out of the ordinary... 

"Give us back the princess you walking luggage factory!" Mario yelled at Bowser he'd taken the princess again. (As if you hadn't already figured that out.)

Like I was saying not one thing was out of the ordinary. The Mario brothers were already in a heated battle for the safe return of the fair Princess Peach. Bowser's thrown room being the battle ground. 

Bowser smacked his forehead in exasperation. 

"Oh for the love of...Why do you always say that?! Do you really expect me to just say _oh ok Mr. Mario_ and hand over the princess?!" Bowser walked right up to Mario 

"Well I was kinda hoping..." Mario started sheepishly

"You were kinda hoping...ya know what Mario, you're an idiot. Why do I even bother to kidnap the princess? Why do I put up with you? Why do I have to be the only villain with a nemesis that's dumber than a sack of potatoes? Does Dr. Robotnik have to put up with such idiocy? The Joker got Batman Lex Luther got Superman and what do I get? Mario, I earned a Masters in villainy from the finest school in the Mushroom Kingdom just to be pestered by a hero whose best line is give us back the princess? _Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggg_!! I can't work under these conditions, I'll be in my dressing room!" Bowser stormed off ( What a Pre-Madonna. )

"But wait aren't we going fight?" Mario called after him

"Yeah, if we don't fight there won't be much of a story!" Luigi, yes he's there too, added.

Bowser stomped back over to the Mario's "I'm not fighting with you ever again!"

"Never?" Mario asked "No!" Bowser turned his back to Mario 

"Not Ever?" "No, not ever!" The lizard king replied ( Disney's The Lizard King in theaters June 2002!)

"Not even a little one?" Mario asked 

"Nuh uh" Bowser replied shaking his head

"But I'm the hero, you gotta fight me..."

"I wouldn't fight you, if you were the last hero in the _universe_!" 

"The universe?" Mario questioned, obviously very hurt. "I bid you good day sir!" Bowser replied his back still to the plumber brothers.

"But, But..." Mario stammered 

"_I said good day sir_!" 

Mario's lip quivered and his eye's began to tear " **:**sniff, sniff**: **Whaaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaaaaah!" Luigi towards Mario and hugged his brother. 

Bowser turned around "Is he crying? I didn't know heroes could do that" ( ya think?)

"Heroes have feelings too ya know?" Luigi shouted at Bowser 

"There, there, don't cry Mario, Bowser's just a jerk!" Luigi patted Mario on the back in an effort to console his weeping brother. 

" **:**Sniffle**: **So I can't come up with any good hero lines it's n-not my f-falt" The hero, and I use that word loosely, sobbed.

"Of course not...it's the writers" Luigi consoled (HEY!) 

Well it is you know? ( I know but he didn't have to rub it in!)

Bowser walked up to the baling plumber "Hey come on don't cry. I didn't know this was so important to you ." 

"Go away haven't you done enough?" Luigi retorted. 

"I'm a p-plumber I-I don't know nothing about being a h-hero. I-I'm making i-it up as I go a-along." Luigi gave Mario his handkerchief

"Look if it means that much to you we'll fight." 

Mario wiped his eyes " **:**Sniffle**: **Really?" 

"Yeah." 

"OK!" Mario shouted excitedly "Here... we... goooooooooooooo!" Bowser rolled his eyes

"**:**Sigh**: **Give it up Mario! The princess is mine now, I kidnapped her fair and square!" Bowser said as he attempted to slash the brothers, who just barely escaped being cut to ribbons by the razor sharp claws. 

"Nenner, nenner, nenner, you missed us Godzilla!" Luigi taunted, stinking his tongue out at the king of the koopas'. (How could he say that if he was sticking his tongue out?) 

A well-aimed tail sent the green plumber flying into one of the many marble pillars surrounding the throne room. 

"Ok... that one hit me" Luigi slurred before going down for the count. 

"What have you done to my brother?!" Mario shrieked. 

(Shriek isn't that the He/She from Super Smash Bros. Melee?)

No that's Peach... (Ouch!) 

"Are you blind? I sent him crashing in to a marble pillar!" Bowser roared 

"Oh...... Well you're goanna pay for that!" Mario yelled before charging at the Koopa 

"Sorry but I don't buy washed up plumbers!" Bowser spat 

"Mario!" A voice called from behind him making him spin around. 

"Princess?" She'd obviously escaped from wherever it was that Bowser had been keeping her...(Obviously **-_- !**) 

But Mario was none the less distracted and Koopa took advantage. Grabbing Mario by his neck Bowser, with a little effort, lifted the, portly, preoccupied, plumber off his feet. (There's a mouth full) 

"Now Mario, get ready to meet your maker!" 

"Shigeru Miyamoto?" Bowser squeezed his claw tighter around Mario's neck. 

Mario vainly tried to free himself from Bowser's grip. Darkness began to overtake his vision. 

~_So this is how it's going to end? I always thought I would die by jumping in a bottomless pit, or by being hit by a pixilated fireball or something like that. Hmm, Live and learn~ _(Hanging on the edge of tomorrow, live and learn, from the words of yesterda-ay, Live and learn if you beg or if you barrow, Live and learn, you may never find your waaaa-aaaay, yeah, yeah ,yeah yeaaaaaaaaaah!)

o_O Okay? Mario started to feel very sleepy as the oxygen stopped flowing freely to his brain.

"That's right Mario go to sleep." 

~_I am sorry princess~_ Mario thought as he closed his eyes 

__

"Get your slimy mitts off my brother!" Luigi shouted as he stomped the offending tail that had hurt him earlier. Adrenalin kept him from feeling the full extent of his injuries. 

Bowser let out a loud roar as pain shot up his spine. He threw Mario hard across the room. Mario skidded across the floor at top speed bouncing a few times before finally stopping at the princess's feet. 

"Mario give me a sign you're all right" Luigi called. Coughing and gasps for air from Mario answered him. 

"Good enough!" The younger Mario brother stated, before leaving Bowser writhing in pain from a very sore tail.

Mario, who'd finally caught his breath, decided that now was a good time to beat feet, and get out of there. 

"Let's get out of here while the getting's good" Mario said as he motioned towards the door. Luigi and Peach nodded in agreement and left. 

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, owwwwwww! I hate those stupid Mario's! I'll get them if it's the last thing I ever do. Then the princess will be mine! ......Oh, my poor tail **:**Sniff**:**" 

Back at Peach's castle, Mario and Luigi have their injuries taken care of in the castle infirmary...

"Owwwwwwwww!" Luigi cried as one of the mushroom nurses wrapped his fractured ribs.

"Aw, Weege quit whining" Mario said from the table across from Luigi's 

"It's not that ba-- Oww! Not so ruff huh?" Mario whined to the nurse who'd been bandaging his sprained arm. 

Luigi snickered. Mario shot him a dirty look but said nothing. 

"Ok all done" Said Luigi's nurse

"Hey, how'd princess escape anyway I was pretty out of it at the time." Luigi asked as he stood up from the table. 

"Plot hole" Peach said as she walked into the room. ( Eh, heh, heh...**_^_^! _**)****

She walked over to Mario "I am so sorry, this is all my fault." 

Before Mario could reply she continued. "I've given this a lot of thought..." (Have you?)

"And I don't think it's right for you to put yourself in danger to try and rescue me." 

"What are you saying princess?" Mario asked "I don't want you to rescue me any more."

"Oh, ok...._What_?! Are you out your cotton-picking mind? Who will save you the next time Bowser kidnaps you?" Mario shouted he wasn't trying to be rude but he couldn't believe what he was hearing. 

"My mushroom guards." Peach replied

"What? They couldn't catch a cold let alone Bowser." Mario retorted

"That's not true, half of my guards are out with colds now, the other half is out with Ebola** "

"WHAT?!" 

"Or the flu, I don't know... The point is they can save me if Bowser kidnaps me. 

"Oh Puleeze, Mario knows more about saving princesses than those guards ever will" Luigi said finally adding his two cents to the conversation. Mario got an idea

"What about Luigi can he save you?" Mario asked He didn't exactly relish the idea of the Mushroom kingdom and its princess's safety being in the hands of his little brother; but right now he was between a rock and a hard place. 

(Can I get some mustered and a dog with that relish?) Will you shut up? This is not a MST! (Jerk!)

"Me? Yeah, why not me? Can I princess" Luigi piped in

"Mmm, no I don't think so, I don't want any of my friends getting hurt because of me." she said

"Oh, thank you God" Luigi muttered to himself 

"B...but where will I go what will I do if you get kidnapped?"

"Frankly my dear Mario, you'll do nothing and like it!" Peach snapped 

"Princess, please be reasonable..." Mario pleaded 

"Mario, I just can't stand the thought of you getting hurt because of me. Please say the next time Bowser try's to kidnap me you'll let my guards handle it?" 

Mario looked in to her beautiful blue eyes as they started to fill with tears. This was really important to her, and he just couldn't say no to those eyes 

"Ok, ok, you win. I...I won't rescue you anymore." His words were fallowed by a heavy sigh mostly because without the reward money that he usually got for saving the princess, he'd actually have to **:**Ugh**:** work for a living.

"Thank you Mario!" She planted a small kiss on his cheek then ran off to do _princessy _things, which princesses often do. 

Mario turned to his brother Luigi "I have a bad feeling about this." 

A few weeks passed without an attack from Bowser or any of his filthy children. Mario and peach sat in the courtyard garden enjoying each other's company. Every thing was peaceful and calm...That is until Bowser decided that now was a good time to try and capture the princess **:**Sigh**: **again. 

Swooping down in his clown copter he snatched up the princess. 

"Let me go you foul creature!" She shouted 

"Don't worry princess I'll save you?" Mario said in a heroic fashion 

"Oh, no you won't...GUARDS!" Peach shouted thirty mushroom guards flooded into the courtyard all carrying some very nasty weapons. Spears, bows and arrows, even a few Bob-oms. Unfortunately their weapons were pretty much useless. They all feared hitting the princess if the y used their weapons on Bowser. What a pity. 

"It's best you don't watch this" Bowser said as he laid a hand over the Princess's eyes 

With one blast of his fiery hot breath he roasted the guards where they stood. They all stood looking totally confused as to what had just happened before they all fainted. 

" **:**Sniff, sniff**: **Do I smell sautéed mushrooms?" Peach asked. 

"Are you so afraid to fight me Mario that you're sending appitzzers to do your job now?" Bowser laughed 

"Why you arrogant little..." That comment really got Mario's blood boiling. 

"Princess, forget what I said before I'm saving you and that's all there is to it!"

"Don't you dare!" She shouted from over the side of the clown copter. 

~_ I'm saving you and there's nothing you can do about it!~_ Mario thought as he got ready to put a serious beat down on Bowser. 

Before Mario could do much of any thing Peach said something that made him stop in his tracks. 

"Mario if you set one foot in Bowser's castle I'll...I"ll" She was having a hard time coming up with a good threat. "I'll have you beheaded!" She blurted out.

All Bowser could do was stare at her in disbelieve "I must be rubbing off on you Princess." He said with a huge grin on his face. 

He continued to say "Do drop by the castle this evening Mario, I would so love to see you executed" He laughed as his clown copter zoomed out of sight.

Mario franticly tried to wake up the guards but it was no use they were out cold. 

Mario was left with only one option... Panic.

"What am I goanna do, What am I goanna do, What am I goanna do?!" 

****

Well would you look at that... I finally did something I said I was going to do and fixed the first chapter of this story. :)

** Ebola is a highly contagious disease that kills only ten day after contracting it. Scary huh? It is mostly found in monkeys in Africa. So if you live in an African jungle with monkeys, be afraid be very afraid. 


	2. heads are gonna roll

Ok, even though no one wanted it, here's the second chapter to this fic. : Sob: So enjoy even though you probably won't :SOB!: Ps This is not the original ending if any one wants to see it review and let me know be warned its really silly though

**__**

Jes :)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

"O.k. don't panic everything's going to be fine, I'll just go rescue the princess and tell her it was an accident. Mario, you idiot, that's not going to work now _THINK_!"

"Uh, Mario...who ya talkin to?" Mario spun around to see his brother standing there 

"Luigi!" "Well yeah you're talking to me now, but who were you talking to before?"

"Thank goodness you've gotta' help me!" 

"Let me guess, Bowser captured Peach; and she said you'd get beheaded if you try to rescue her."

"Yeah how did you know?" 

"Elementary my dear Mario, my brilliant deductive reasoning tells me that none other than Bowser toasted these guards." 

"Well Duh! But how did you know about the (Gulp) beheading thing" Mario asked as he rubbed his neck 

"I read the first chapter." "Oh... so you know what kind of position I'm in, and you'll help me? **_:[)"_** "_Not on your life! _I'm not gettin my head chopped off!"

" **_:( _**" "If you won't do this for me...I'll tell everybody in the mushroom kingdom that your middle name is....." Luigi puts his hand over Mario's mouth 

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ok, ok, I'll go get the princess, but if I get decapitated its on your head."

"But at least it will be attached to my neck!" "You mean shoulders Mario."

"Luigi you _dork_ your head is attached to your neck!" "Not in your case, _Fat Boy!" _

"Ha, ha, very funny." Mario said dryly " I thought so." 

"_Would you go already!_" "All right I'm going, keep your mustache on!" Luigi ran off towards Bowser's castle to save the princess. 

Speaking of Bowser lets see what he's up to, shall we?

"Admit it." "Admit what, you slime ball?" Peach asked. 

"You love me, don't you princess? "_What!?" _She shrieked. 

"That's why you won't let Mario come for you right?" "But I hope he dose come; Mario's head will make a wonderful wedding present."

"Uhg, We are _NOT getting_ married, I don't even like you let alone love you" Bowser almost looked disappointed. Almost "Princess we _are _getting married, like it or not, then _your _Mushroom Kingdom, will be _my_ Mushroom Kingdom and with our armies powers combined..." " I am Capitan Planet!... I mean Luigi" There at the threshold of the door stood Capitan Plan...eh... Luigi in all his glory (And that's not much) "_Guards! Seize him!" _About twenty guards surrounded, poor, Luigi. "And get the chopping block ready we've got an execution to take care of." Bowser grinned evilly at the, captive, Luigi. Uh...why don't we check back on Mario for right now. (I can't stand the sight of blood)

"_What_?! You're not goanna leave me like this are you?" (Quiet Luigi, your not supposed to be talking to me) "B B But... you can't let them do this to me!" 

(Relax I'll take care of it) "Really?" Luigi whimpers (Really :crosses fingers behind back:) 

"I saw that!" " Mario, _HELP_ _Meeeeeee_!" 

At his house, Mario is having a severe attack of conscience.

Mario lazily sips some ice tea as he sits in his living room, in his underwear, watching Pokemon. "Hmm I kind of feel bad about blackmailing Luigi like that. Oh well." Maybe it wasn't as severe as I thought. (I'll fix that **_:}_**) Just then Pokemon was interrupted by a news bulletin. "_This just in: The public_ _execution of the, not so famous, Luigi Mario is being held at Bowser's castle, admission is one gold coin, we will be bringing it to you live as it happens here on Kids WB" _Mario's heart sank into his shoes, then jumped into his throat. "Mama-Mia, What have I done? I have to save him, forgive me little brother for getting you in to this." Mario got dressed and headed out for Koopa's castle.

Meanwhile, at Bowser's place

The castle's courtyard has been set up with stadium seating, speakers, and a huge TV screen just for the occasion. In the center of the courtyard sat a large wooden block with a giant ax wedged in it.

A Koopa troopa was taking admissions from all sorts of foul creatures Goombas, Buzzy beetles, Thwomps and Thwimps, Koopa Paratroopas and even a few curious Mushroomers. And of course King Koopa himself, was there along with the captive Princess Peach. The king and his ahem..._guest_, had the best seats in the house right in front of the chopping block. 

Luigi was brought out in chains, binding his hands and feet.

"You can't do this to Luigi!" The princess pleaded with Bowser. 

"Wasn't it you who said if you set one foot in Bowser's castle I'll have you beheaded?" 

" 1: I said, _I_ was going to have him beheaded, and 2: I said Mario not Luigi!" 

"One Mario is as good as the other" Bowser replied. Luigi, who was standing directly in front of the arguing royalty, nearly passed out when a stout figure in a black hood started to sharpen the ax. 

" Bowser, friend, amigo, buddy if it means that much to you keep the princess!" 

Peach and Bowser stop arguing and stare at Luigi in disbelieve. 

"I tell you what, you let me go and we'll forget this ever happened."

"Luigi!" Peach snapped. "Thank you Luigi, I will keep the princess; and your head on my mantle in a jar" Luigi turned greener than his shirt.

"Is time" Bowser picked up a mic that had been sitting next to his chair and spoke into it 

"Gentlemen (Snicker) yeah right, oh and you too princess, the moment you have been waiting for has arrived. _THE EXECUTION OF A MARIO_!!!" The crowd broke into wild cheers and applause, as Luigi was lead to the block. 

His upper body rested on the wooden block his chained hands out in front of him. Bowser walked over to Luigi and put the mic to his lips "Any last words plumb-scum?" 

"Yeah I wish Mario was here, then your sorry ass would be in big trouble!" The crowd just laughed at the doomed plumber.

Peach still in her seat was kicking herself for ever giving Bowser this idea. She never wanted this to happen, she just didn't want her friends getting hurt. And the only reason she said what she did was to scare them, she would have never went through with it. "Oh Luigi I am so sorry, I didn't want this" she whispered 

"I wish Mario were here" She wiped some tears from her eyes. 

~_Mario, I didn't come to get the princess because you threatened me. I did it because you're my brother and you needed my help. I wish you were here because it's my turn to need help. ~ _

The time had come. The executioner lifted the ax high into the air. Peach could only cover her eyes, Luigi would have too if he had been able. Bowser along with the roaring crowd watched anxiously. The executioner spoke the last words the young Mario would ever hear. Luigi shut his eyes. "So are-ah you ready to-ah die Luigi?" "What did you say?" The ax came down with a sickening thud.

Poor Peach losing her best friend. 

Poor Luigi losing his head. 

Poor Mario losing his little brother, hay were the hell is that fat bastard anyway? 

(All in good time narrator, you'll find out next chapter like everyone else)

**__**

To be continued...

Wow, looks like I can't finish this in two chapters like I wanted, sorry.

(Sigh) Oh well look for chapter three sometime this week. Jes ^o^


	3. Enter: Waluigi

Waaah! Poor Luigi! **:**sniffle**:** How could Jes do this to him? It's not faaaaair, Waaah!

(Hay, come on don't cry) 

You kill off one of my favorite characters, and then you tell me not to cry?! 

Well I'm sorry that's not goanna...goanna **:**sniffle**:** Haaaaaaaaappeeeeeen Waaaah! 

(Luigi is one of my favorite characters too.) Then why did you kill him? **:**Boohoo**:**

(Shhhhh **:**Pat's narrator on the back**: **I didn't kill any body, calm down.) 

You'll bring him back? (How can I bring him back, he was never gone?)

You mean... **:**sniff**: **(That's right, so are you goanna narrate the story now?)

Yes! Thank you!

(Sorry about that readers, my narrator's a little over sensitive. On with the story! -**_Jes ;P_**)

****

~~

Luigi opened his eyes, he was surprised he could do that, to find that the chains binding his hands had been cut off, not his head **:**relieved sigh from narrator**: **

"Mama-mia! Your aim is terrible, thank god." Luigi said. 

"It's better than you think little bro another inch closer; and you'd have had one hell of a headache!" The executioner replied. 

"Now put your put your feet up here, so I can cut the chains on your legs"

"Mario?! I thought it was you..._Did you have to scare the crap out of me like that_?!" Luigi asked as he did what Mario told him; and put his feet on the chopping block.

"**:**Snicker**: **Oh...did I scare you? I'm sorry" Mario said innocently, as he cut the chains on Luigi's feet. 

"What the hell is that idiot executioner doing?" Bowser roared. " It's Mario!!" Peach squealed in delight! (Way to expose your friend Peach **^~^**) 

"Mario?! Well that portly, putrid, plumber..." (Say that three times fast) "_Don't interrupt me again you writer wannabe, no talent , half witted, under educated, ugly little troll**!**_" 

( ......That hurts...**:**Sniff**:**...You'll pay for that **:**Runs away crying like a little girl**:**)

"Not bloody likely." After shattering the author's self-esteem, Bowser picked up the mic and his words came over the loud speaker.

"Well Mario, I'm surprised you showed up. But I'm glad you did, killing your brother would have been fun; but killing you both will be... uhh... even more fun!" 

"Mario? Where?" One of the dim spectators questioned. "I don't see Mario." said another equally ignorant watcher . 

Mario removed his executioners hood, many gasps were heard from the crowd. 

"_You're all not terribly bright are you_?" Luigi shouted at the crowd "_No we're not_!" " **_'_' _**"

"Bowser, what is it with you; and this constant need to kill us? I think you should seek professional help." 

"Hmm... seek professional help... to kill Mario Bros. Thanks for the idea, Mario!" 

"That's not what I meant! **_):{}_** "

"Attention all spectators whom ever brings me the Mario's will get a shinny..." 

"Yeah" 

"New..."

"Yeeah"

"_X-BOX_!"

The crowd erupts in hysterical laughter. Even Mario, Luigi, and Peach, yes she's still in the story, are rolling with laughter. **:**Snicker**: **X Box that is a good one.

"Ahem **:**Chuckle**:** no seriously though...whom ever brings me the Mario's will get a brand new Gamecube!" 

Everyone in the crowd jumped out of their seats, and tried to pummel the Mario Bros. And as good of fighters as they were, the brothers were having a hard time trying to keep from getting their asses kicked. "Dog pile on the Mario's!" Someone shouted.

"_EWW! Get it off, get it off, Luigi get it off_!" Mario cried as he franticly checked his person. 

Luigi had to suppress the urge to slap the shit out of?...err em off of?...uh... _he just didn't wanna hit him Ok? _The bros. were jumped by about 89 of the fans? no sickos in attendance.

"Ow...please...ouch... stop...ooh... jumping...ah...on my...yipe.. head!" Luigi asked a blue shelled koopa "Mmm...No!" he replied as continued his jumping. Out of nowhere a brick came flying and knocked the offending koopa unconscious. 

"Thanks for the help Mario" Luigi called over in his brother's direction.

"What help? I'm trying to keep form getting killed!" Just then six more bricks came flying hitting various bad guys. 

"What the hell, where are those bricks coming from?" Bowser scanned the area then... **:**_POW!_**:**Oh man, you should of seen it Bowser just got hit in the face with a brick! Crap that was cool...oh! yeah the story...so anyway, Bowser is down for the count, and Peach escapes. She runs towards the bros nearly getting beened by a brick; but Mario pushed her out of the way just in the nick of time...unfortunately the pudgy plumber couldn't move fast enough to keep from getting hit himself. The brick made a loud thump as it connected with his head.

"Oh no! Mario... are you ok?...speak to me please!"

"Mama,... Luigi's making fun... of my... bed wetting problem again." Mario dizzily replied 

" Mario, it's me Peach, I'm not your mo...**0_0 **Bed wetting problem?" 

More bricks sent the last of the vermin running, however one just missed Luigi's head by a hair. If not for his quick reflexes...

(You mean the reflexes that couldn't keep him from getting captured in the second chapter?) 

Oh! You're back (yeah)

I suppose you were the one throwing bricks. (Bricks, what bricks?) if not you, then who?

"Me!" "Waluigi!" Mario yelled, finally coming out of his stupor 

"Why would you help us?" 

"Simple, if something happens to Luigi...I'll have no one to pick on" He walked over to Luigi and slapped him hard up side the back of his head. No one really seemed to care.

__

"_Oww_! what'd ya do that for?" Waluigi shrugged 

"Mario did you see that, he hit me for no reason?" Luigi cried.

"Oh quit whining you big baby!" "But..." Mario walked up to Luigi and slapped him, up side the back of his head.

"Owww! What the hell was that for? **:**Sniff**:**" Luigi asked 

"For crying" 

" **:**Sniffle**:** But I _wasn't _crying **:**sniff**:**" 

"You're crying now, maybe I should hit you again; and give you something to cry about!"

"B bu but if you hadn't hit me the first time...**:**Sniff**:" **

"You two stop picking on poor Luigi" Peach said as she rubbed the spot were the two meannies had hit him. 

"He was so brave to come and rescue me..."

"Bu bu but you said not to!" Mario stammered quite confused.

"Yes I did; but even the threat of death wouldn't keep, sweet, wonderful, Luigi from trying. Which is more than I can say for you cowered!" Peach kissed Luigi right on his nose. he let out a happy little sigh and blushed deep red. 

"Hay, are you forgetting, _I _was the one who beened Bowser with that brick. I should get a kiss not whinny cry Luigi!" Waluigi whined. 

"_I _was the one that kept him from getting his head cut off if it wasn't for me there wouldn't _be _any Luigi! I want a kiss too!"

(Wasn't it Mario who sent Luigi to get head cut off in the first place.) 

Yeah I thought so, well any whoosetes... Both Mario and Waluigi stood together closed their eyes and puckered up. Peach slapped them hard across their faces. 

"Perverts! Humph" "Honestly Mario it isn't like you to tack credit for other peoples accomplishments" (Is she kidding?) 

"But he didn't even rescue you, you're still here aren't you?" Before Peach could answer, Bowser decided now was a good time to make his grand reentry into this story.

"That's right she's still here and here is where she'll stay!" The lizard roared.

"We'll argue about this latter, let's get out of here while the getting's good!" Mario grabbed Peach's arm and took off like shot. 

"Should we be running too?" Waluigi asked a dust cloud that resembled Luigi.

"_Hay! wait for Waluigi_!" He started to run; but Bowser grabbed the straps of his overalls and lifted the now terrified man up to his eye level.

"You were the one that hit me with that brick aren't you?" Waluigi just let out a petrified whimper. Bowser shook him violently "_ANSWER ME_!" He screamed.

Waluigi cried out in terror "Heeelp m m meeeee! P P P pleeeeease!"

The Bros were some distance away when they herd Waluigi's desperate pleas for help.

"Mario we have to go back for that idiot Waluigi!"

"Why would you want to go back for him? he hit you and made you cry!"

"No _you_ hit me and made me...cr...never mind I won't leave him!" Luigi went back too help the annoying little turd. 

"Luigi come back!" Peach yelled; but he just kept running. "**:**sigh**:** Here we go again." Mario takes off after Luigi.

What the hell I thought Luigi hated Waluigi.

(Guess not)

I forgot to ask you are you ok? 

(Ok?) 

You know after the whole Bowser thing. 

( **:**lip quivers**: : **Sniffle**: **What'd you have to bring that up for Waaaaah **:**Runs awaycrying**: **)

And she calls _me _oversensitive **: **Sigh **: **Check out the next chapter hopefully it wont be as long **-_- Merry Christmas ^__^**


	4. Super Who? Saves the day

(Well hopefully this will be the last chapter. This story ran waaay longer than expected. So without further interruption...and no more crying, I give you the last chapter! Hopefully-**_Jes ^_)^_** ) 

So dose this mean you've finally decided who saves the day Luigi, Mario or Waluigi?

(...NO!)

**__**

.:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. .:. 

~ I can't believe I'm doing this! Risking my neck for, of all people Waluigi! I must be going nuts.~ 

" I can't believe Luigi's doing this! Risking his neck for, of all people Waluigi! He must be going nuts." Mario repetitively stated.

"Oh he's so brave! And kind...risking his neck for Waluigi!" Peach swooned, Mario looked hurt. 

Mario stopped running and turned to Peach. "Are... you mad at me?"

"_Mario, we have to help your brother, we haven't got time for this_!" Mario winced, she _was_ mad at him. 

"Who Luigi? He'll be fine." 

"_Help_!" someone yelled

"Didn't you hear that?" 

"Hear what?" Mario asked innocently.

"_Ma... Mario, brother, help_!" someone called out desperately 

"What about that?" 

"What about what?" Mario asked oblivious 

"_That yelling!_" 

"What yelling?"

"_Mario! can you hear me? Please I need help, I can't do it on my own_!"

"**_That_** yelling!" Peach said more than, a little, annoyed. 

"I didn't hear anything."

"_MAMA -MIA! MARIO, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HELP ME! I DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME YOU HAVE TO COME, A.S.A.P. , OR IT'S ALL OVER FOR ME_!"

(Did he have to yell so loud? God I think I've gone deaf!)

"_Now don't tell me you didn't hear that_!" Peach screamed.

Mario shook his head. 

(And lots of rattling could be heard. **:**Snicker**: **Ok that was lame, I'll stop now.)

"Mario, why don't you want to help your brother?" Peach shouted very annoyed. 

Mario looked sadly in the direction of the hysterical screams for help, then at Peach.

"It's just...that all day you've been gushing over my brother, and how he came to rescue you; but you said not to... and when we get home you're goanna shower Luigi with cakes and kisses...and I'll be left..." Mario's word got caught in his throat. 

"left out?" Peach asked Mario, who, sadly nodded yes.

Peach's expression softened. She put her hand, gently, on Mario's shoulder. Mario saw this as a comforting action....

"Mario..." Peach started softly. 

"_Get off your got damned ego trip, and help you little brother_, _you selfish pig_!" That is until she tried to shake the life out of him.

"_No! I won't and you can't make me_!" Mario folded his arms decidedly and turned his back to the princess. 

"_Do it_!" Peach slapped him in the back of his head. 

"But I don't wanna..." Mario whined, Peach pushed him forward

"_March mister_!" She pointed her finger in the direction of the yelling 

"Didn't your mom ever tell you: It's not polite to point?" 

That comment earned him another slap in the head.

"Ow! ok I'm going ...jeez, so uptight!" Mario sulked off, to help Luigi, with Peach right behind. 

The pair finally caught up to Luigi who, looked very worried and, was hopping around like a Mexican jumping bean.

"_Mario, thank God you're here, you've gotta help me_!" Luigi jumped around excitedly. 

"Calm down, what's wrong?" Mario asked as he looked around; but didn't see any danger. 

"I can't get the buckles off my overalls; and I really, _and I do mean really_, have to go to the bathroom!" 

" **-_- ! **" 

"_This is what you slapped me for...twice_?!" Mario said turning to Peach who shrugged.

"_Maaaaariioooooo, would you help me already_?" Luigi whined while doing the "I gotta go" dance.

"_What are you a five year old_?! **:**Sigh**:** ok. " Mario helps Luigi, who runs to find the nearest bush.

Luigi comes back. " **:**Relieved sigh**: **Thanks Mario that was a close one" Mario just rolls his eyes.

"Ok I'm ready lets go home now" Luigi said cheerfully. 

"What about Waluigi?" Peach asked.

"Oh... right I almost forgot about super gruesome. I guess I'll go get him, Mario you coming?" 

" I'll come but I think I'd be doing Wario a favor if I let Bowser eat his little brother" 

The Mario Bros. finally make it back to the castle courtyard; and that loser Waluigi.

"Bowser! Let Waluigi go!" Luigi shouted as heroically as he could, seeing as how he was petrified; but not as petrified as Waluigi.

"Y y yeah l le le let W Wa Waluigi g go!" Waluigi desperately pleaded. Bowser shook him like a rag doll.

"_Ahhhhhhhhh! I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die, HELP! Mommy! Daddy! Wa Wa Wario! ,Ma Ma Mario! Peach! Somebody! Anybody, Heeeeeeeeelllp_!" 

Luigi burst into laughter at Waluigi's girlish screams.

"Bwa, ha, ha, ha, haaaaaa, Bo Bowser n no more... haa, ha, I can't take any more...ooh my ribs...ha, ha,..." Luigi was on the ground, holding his sides, rolling with laughter. 

"_Are you going to help me or not_?" 

"Wah, ha, ha, yes, yes, ha... whatever ...haa, you want...just stop screaming like a wuss...heh, heh, I can't stand it" Luigi laughed. 

Even Bowser started to laugh at the pathetic cries of terror...

"Now sto...heh, heh...:Ahem!: Stop scre...scre...**:**Snicker**:**....Ahhh ha, ha, ha!" As a matter of fact he laughed so hard he dropped Waluigi, who scrambled over to where Luigi was standing, after finally regaining composure. 

Waluigi was busy beating Luigi over the head with his hat.

"Ow...hay ...stop it ...why...are you hitting me?" 

"_For laughing at me_!" Waluigi shouted 

(Poor Luigi is going to have brain damage from all the head shots) 

how many times has he been referred to as "Poor Luigi" in this story? 

(I don't know, too many if we've noticed)

"That's,... ouch,... a fine way...ooh...to treat ...owie... _someone who saved your life!" _

"you didn't save me! _I saved me, _by being a sissy little girl!"

"It' ouch...not...ooh...my...fault......your a ...sissy!"

"Ha, ha, you're getting beat up by a sissy" Mario laughed 

"_Waluigi you leave Luigi alone_..."Peach yelled. Waluigi glared at her but did as he was told

"_You leave Waluigi alone_..." Mario shouted at Peach, much to her surprise, he had never yelled at her like that before 

"_What?_!" 

"Wh why Mario, I...I don't know what to say. Nobody's ever stuck up for me before, not even my _own_ brother I'm touched **:**Sniff**:**" (_I said no more crying_!) 

Waluigi walked over to Mario and hugged him tightly, Mario pushed him away.

"_Eww get off me you freak_!" 

"The only reason I said that is cause I'm tired of Princess Peach always sticking up for my brother"

"My search for a friend continues... /**_:( _**" 

(I'll be your friend **_:_) **) 

"Really?" (No! Bwa, ha, ha, haa...) " **_:_( **"

"It's always _Luigi's_ so smart or _Luigi's_ so brave or so sweet. Well I got news for ya: he never would have come to get you if I hadn't threatened to tell every one that his middle name is Al..." Luigi tackled Mario; and put a hand over his mouth.

"_Mario if you do I'll never speak to you again_!" 

"_Wouldn't that be a shame..._" Mario commented dryly, after pushing Luigi off of him; and getting up.

"What is your problem today? all you've been doing is making an ass out of yourself since the second chapter?" 

"He's not gettin any that's his problem!" Bowser pointed out. 

The group of heroes... and Waluigi started snickering at Koopa's comment. Mario's face turned bright red, so red in fact that you couldn't distinguish his face from his red shirt and cap! 

"_Ouch_!_ He's got your number there bro_!" Luigi declared. Mario lunged at Luigi; but Bowser grabbed him in mid air Then grabbed Luigi and clunked their heads together then dropped the now unconscious pair on the ground.

"I have had enough of these stupid games..." He moved towards the princess and grabbed her arm. 

"You're coming with me!" 

"When the Mario Bros. wake up, they're going to come and beat the green off of you!" Peach cried. 

"your right I think I'll take care of them now, while they're asleep" 

(is it just me or dose Peach have a big mouth?)

Bowser moved towards the Bros. with intent to seriously impair their ability to live.

__

~Ok Waluigi, this is it your time to shine, your fifteen minutes of fame your turn to be in the spotlight. If you save the Mario bros from Bowser then you'll be a big hero and have lots of friends. All you gotta do is kick the snot out of Bowser. Ok here I go!~ 

As Bowser closed in on the napping Mario's, Waluigi closed in on him.

"Hay! Lizard breath..." Bowser turned to see Waluigi striking a heroic pose

"I'm goanna beat you so bad your..." 

"Shut up! you sniveling little toads" said a voice from behind the two opponents, they turned around too see who was yelling at them.

Bowser looked a little stunned "It's..."

Waluigi was awestruck "It's..."

Peach was dumbfounded "I can't believe it's..." (Not butter)

"Princess Daisy of sarasaland! and I've got a bone to pick with you two"

Bowser laughed at the hot under the collar princess. 

"Princess Daisy what a pleasure it is to see yo..."Before Bowser can finish a sentence, Daisy walks over and kicks him in the...sssssss....that's gotta hurt, she kicked him where the sun don't shine. Bowser falls over in pain and Peach escapes for the third time this story. 

"_That...was for trying to kill my presious Luigi and this..." _She kicks him in the head "_Is for making me come all the way out here to kick your ass_!" ( **_0_0 _** Holy crap! )

"Why didn't I think of that?" The pink princess pondered. 

Daisy then turned her attention to Waluigi...

"N Now princess I was going to help the Mario's..."

Daisy pulled a parasol out from one of the many folds of her dress...and beat the _dog crap _out of Waluigi.

"How do you like getting hit all the time? if I ever hear that you put your filthy hands on my darling Luigi again..."

" I won't, I won't, I swear it scouts honor.." she stopped her beating to check on Luigi Peach went to check on Mario.

(That girl is dangerous I'm kinda sorry I called her now **:**sees Bowser whimpering in pain**: **no I'm not )

"Luigi sweetie are you ok?" Daisy lightly pats his face to wake him.

"D Daisy?...is that you?" Luigi drearily asked.

"Yes its me. are you all right?" she asked.

"uhh huh...but my head really hurts" Daisy kissed the top of his head and hugged him tight. Luigi was still to stupefied from all the bumps on the head to care what Daisy was doing at Bowser's castle. 

"Did that awful Waluigi give you all these bumps?" She asked while running her hand over the top of Luigi's bruised cranium.

"No..."

While this lovely seen was going on Peach is waking up Mario

"Come on time to get up sleepy head." Mario started to come too. 

"Did I win? did I beat Bowser?" asked the dazed hero 

"No." Peach replied softly 

"So Luigi saved you?" Mario sadly asked. Knowing that Luigi was the one to get kisses and cakes. 

"No."

"Waluigi?" Mario dreaded the thought of Peach's lips ever touching that disfigured face

"No." 

"Then who?"

"you will find out soon enough" Peach leaned close to Mario and kissed him. Not on the cheek, or the nose, or the forehead; but on the lips! Mario sighed and blushed like there was no tomorrow. She had never kissed him on the lips before.

"What was that for, I only get kisses when I save the day?"

"remember that kiss... its the last one you'll be getting for awhile" Peach said ignoring his question.

"Why?"

"Because as soon as Daisy finds out what you did to Luigi she's going to put you in traction."

"Daisy?"

"_MARIO_!" Mario jumped when he heard the P O'd princess call his name.

Mario took off like a bat out of hell. With the crazed princess, wielding a parasol, hot on his heals.

So Daisy saved the day. 

Luigi got lots of hugs kisses and attention from her.

Bowser and Waluigi got concussions 

Peach got her freedom; but was a little lonely since Mario was going to be in the I .C .U for awhile. She decided that _less_ people get hurt when she lets Mario come to save her from Bowser.

And Mario...well Mario got a cake and a kiss after all... too bad it was from Gourmet Guy who was volunteering at the hospital. 

So everybody lived happily ever after...Well just Luigi & Daisy really. 

The End (Thank God!)

(What the hell, this was the longest chapter yet! Well at least this story is over. So good night God bless and have a great New Years! **_-Jes _O__~ _**)

****


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